Cyclical Hurt
by uniqueinkblots
Summary: After weeks of secretly longing for one another, Eddie and Patricia can't bear the thought of never seeing each other again. Their impending expulsion brings forth a wide range of difficult emotions. They may not be together, but that doesn't mean they want this. Yet somehow, they can't make things right. Reflective, semi-poetic Peddie Oneshot.


**A/N: **I don't know where this came from?! I wanted to try out a new style - I'm not even sure what to call it. I suppose it's a tad more poetic than typical prose or narration. This is kind of a reflective piece during that goodbye scene in "House of Awakening" and it's way more shorter than the things I usually write.

I'll be the first to admit the tone of the oneshot is FAR more angsty than the scene in the show was. I definitely significantly twisted things and I realize that. But it was sort of fun! I've never really tried to write angst before so tell me if I succeed I guess. It's okay if I didn't.

Happy reading :)

**Disclaimer: **House of Anubis belongs to Nickelodeon, not me.

* * *

_"Guess that you get your wish, Yacker. You never have to see me again."_

_"Guess I did."_

A look of longing meets a look of regret.

Matching forced smiles that fall short, appearing as grimaces. Sharp, hot tears prick his eyes as he swallows hard and turns on his heel, moving on to the next farewell._  
_

Because this one hurts too much.

Cloudy gray orbs stare after him, the emotion evident.

Anguish. Concern. Regret. _  
_

Her gaze is as hopelessly lost as his, though he doesn't look back to see. Mournful thoughts consume him and so he doesn't bother.

They're both thinking the same thing.

Is it really going to end like this?

Weeks of tiptoeing around each other, being civil. Weeks of working together, successfully ignoring the train wreck of their failed relationship. Weeks of being so immersed at the mission at hand, that the time for awkwardness gets lost amongst the chaos.

Looks of yearning. Lingering touches. Shared smiles.

They've been anything but subtle, indulging in whatever contact passes between them.

Unspoken hope. It's been their lifeline, something they're counting on, whether they admit or not.

And of course they don't.

But she's clinging onto that hope, trying to work up the courage to find the words that will make everything okay again. While he's been holding hope just as tightly, waiting for her to make her move. To take it all back.

She can admit this much to herself: _Guess I did _weren't the magic words.

So many things to say and so little time.

_Eddie, I'm sorry._

_Eddie, don't go to America._

_Eddie, you're a brave, worthy Osirian. _

_Eddie, I still love you._

But not enough time, and so she says nothing instead.

Neither does he.

Yet their thoughts remain one and the same.

He is foreseeing a solemn, silent cab ride in which the atmosphere is tense, grim. She pictures a dreadful airport farewell, in which she has lost the right to kiss him goodbye.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, the good news comes. He never thought he would be so happy to be allowed to go to school. She never thought her life here could hold such meaning.

Friends. More than friends. _Family._

They wouldn't be leaving those precious people behind.

Friends. Soulmates. _True love._

Looks like they wouldn't be leaving each other just yet, either.

The relief is so great, it's tangible.

Joy, gratefulness, pure _exhilaration. _

Hugs all around, but he is careful to skip her. With the commotion of frenzied emotion and happy cheers, he has a good excuse. It's an overwhelming time. He missed her in the crowd is all.

The excuse is necessary. He doesn't have the strength to be that close.

He tells himself that hugging KT first isn't deliberate.

But if he's being honest, it probably is.

He knows how she reacts to jealously, and despite the administration's pardon, nothing has changed.

Bitterness, sadness, longing.

That's all still there.

Because when it came time for last words, she had failed him.

___"Guess I did."_

Maybe, one day, things will be different. Or rather things will become the same. Like they used to be.

Ridiculous banter, silly pranks, sincere laughter.

But until they get it right, looks like they are limited to simply missing each other. Reveling in each other's presence. Taking solace in the fact that they have been allowed to continue their education together.

Seemingly neverending pain.


End file.
